You are currently browsing the monthly archive for October 2009.
“Sure, lots of guy celebrities are handsome, but some of these hotties distinguish themselves with such a spectacular singular physical feature that it makes it impossible to keep us focused on silly things like, say, plot. Read on for the 15 most droolworthy biceps, buns, abs and more.”
That’s according to Glamour.com. According to me and my gaggle of cronies, divas, misfits, and other people I call friends, this list is totally incomplete. Talk about sad shortcomings and bedroom downfalls. They can have ’em as far as I’m concerned. I have my own delicious list of sultry, titillating men that beg to be eaten off a spoon.
1. Seth Rogen’s sweet hair
Billowy, fluffy, and curly. Can you just imagine how smooth it feels between your fingers? Seth may have lost the weight, but he’s certainly weighed on my mind.
2. Brad Pitt’s bro buzz
We all agree that Brad can do no wrong. Well, with one exception. But overall, the buzz has been one of my favorite incarnations of Brad to date. Why? Because I’m a sucker for the miniature golf course putting green texture. Dare to defy me on this.
3. Steve Carrell’s strong nose
It’s prominence is a force to be reckoned with. What’s sexiest about Steve is that he doesn’t think he’s sexy at all. Oh, but I beg to differ.
4. Rainn Wilson’s puckering mouth
Carrell’s The Office counterpart has his looks going for him, too. Just don’t tell him that. While unconventionally cute, Rainn’s mouth is what attracts me to him the most. That little pucker of sarcasm sitting atop his upper lip anxiously waiting to pour out is palpable. Can’t you see it?
5. Gerard Butler’s heavenly harsh scruff
Facial hair is a make or break situation for any woman. But for Gerard lovers, it’s totally doable. Panties drop simultaneously for a go at his face. I’d happily go to work with dry skin and beard rash any day. Just a FYI, Gerard. :whispers: If you can hear me.
6. Bruce Willis’ bald exterior
How any woman can ever find a bald head unattractive is beyond me. Bruce must apply shoe shine nightly because his baldness beams to the edge of the moon. Just like our my love.
7. James Franco’s flawless cheek bones
James Dean reincarnated. This is bone structure most models die for. Is he grinding his teeth? Or are they always like that? Who cares! I can’t help but wonder how his structure moves when he chews. Is that weird?
8. John Krasinski’s love-me eyes
Puppy dog eyes to the extreme. Waking up to these beauties every morning must be bliss. Emily Blunt is one lucky bitch.
9. Daniel Craig’s dynamite abs
My eyes must be deceiving me. It’s like a mirage; the male version of Daryl Hannah slowly emerging from the water to have his way with me on the beach. Never before did I know Speedos could fit this well on a man. Meow.
10. Michael Ian Black’s scrutinizing eyebrows
On what level is Michael Ian Black really judging me? That’s what I want to know. And the anticipation is hot. Just sayin’.
11. Conan O’Brien’s ivory forehead
A landscape of pure, open ivory space. Full of God knows what. Do I hear a plane landing or is it just me? I hope there’s room enough for both of us.
12. Lance Armstrong’s do-me legs
All that cycling, milk, and Sheryl Crow really does a body good. Phew! Who wouldn’t want those wrapped around your very being? Day and night, night and day. Feel the burn, ladies. Feel the burn.
13. Denzel Washington’s glittering smile
Lights are blinding. They say a smile is worth a thousand words, but in Denzel’s case I think it’s safe to say his aren’t allowed a price tag. Can I be a part of your chocolate high?
14. Adam Sandler’s endearing egghead
He may hear endless scrutiny and bad jokes for a head he can’t control, but in my humble opinion I think it’s impossibly sweet.
15. George Clooney’s pearly whites
There’s nothing like saving the best for last. George’s devilish sense of humor seeps through his gorgeous smile and infectious laugh. Teeth have never before been made with such perfection. MmmmMmmmMmmm.
This list wouldn’t be complete without this honorary addition. This man can wear a suit, command a room, and give Tina Fey a run for her money on her very own show. Skill, style, sensuality, and sex is why special number 16 sizzles. The ultimate man’s man. Every woman loves her Hamm.
16. Jon Hamm, the every man.
Images thanks to people.com, eonline.com torontolife.com, seth-rogen.com, scrantonbranchoffice.wordpress.com, kepplerspeakers.com, & rottentomatoes.com
Under this national rain cloud
I’m getting soaked to the skin
Trying to find my umbrella
But I don’t know where to beginAnd it’s simply irrational weather
Can’t even hear myself think
Constantly bailing out water
But still like I’m gonna sinkCoz I’m under the weather
Just like the world
So sorry for being so bold
When I turn out the light
You’re out of sight
Although I know that I’m not alone
Feels like home– KT Tunstall, “Under the Weather” from Eye to the Telescope
The Animal Rescue Site is having trouble getting enough people to click on their site daily so they can meet their quota of getting FREE FOOD donated every day to abused and neglected animals. It takes less than a minute (about 15 seconds) to go to their site and click on the purple box “Fund Food for Animals for Free.”
Remember: This doesn’t cost you a thing.
Their corporate sponsors and advertisers use the number of daily visits to donate food to abandoned and neglected animals in exchange for advertising.
So….CLICK ON IT! Takes you 15 seconds and you’ll feel amazing the rest of the day.
Imitation is the sincerest form of flattery. Thanks to the genius makeup pros over at M∙A∙C Artists worldwide, Halloween is going to be FIERCE this year. Creating 25 vibrant Halloween looks, all artists provide you a step-by-step process of what tools you need (of course they’re all MAC cosmetics) and how to create the look yourself. For once, copying is totally encouraged.
Here are a few of my favorite spookably sexy looks from the collection. Visit their Facebook page for more face charts, videos, and pictures. I’m totally going for the Deadly Dame. What about you?
Deadly Dame
Look created by M·A·C Artist: Lara Brewster
Location: London, UK
Click here for a printable version of this look to bring to a M·A·C Artist in a store near you; links to the products used are also included: http://www.maccosmetics.com/halloween8
Or visit http://bit.ly/maccosmetics to purchase these products online or find a store near you.
STEP-BY-STEP
1. Prime and hydrate skin with an application of Prep + Prime SPF 50, and follow with a highlight of Strobe Cream.
2. Create a heavy lidded effect with a smokey eye by using Blackground Paint Pot as base all over eyelid with Brush #242. Apply a dense layer of Carbon Eye Shadow, concentrating on the outer and inner corner of the eye, leaving the center of the lid bare. Use Brush #217 to blend outward with Eye Shadows in Sketch and Shadowy Lady.
3. Create a glowing highlight in the centre of the eyelid by applying Luna Cream Colour Base and follow with a blend of Vanilla Pigment and Vex Eye Shadow.
4. Eyes should be smudged and kohl rimmed as black as possible through lower lashes with a blend of Smolder Eye Kohl and Carbon Eye Shadow with Brush #228.
5. Continue to create dark circles under the eyes by using Brush #217 to apply a blend of Print and Nocturnelle in sweeping semi-circle strokes. Leave spaces between these strokes bare to create highlights.
6. The femme fatale has been drinking blood! Draw Redd Lip pencil from lip down the chin, then paint on M·A·C Red Lipstick. Add Clear lipglass to the mixture with Brush#210 to give the glistening wet look.
FACE
Wipes
Strobe Cream
Prep+Prime Face SPF 50
Studio Fix Fluid – NW15
Select Moisturecover – NW15
Studio Fix Powder – NW15
Powder Blush – Dollymix
Eye Shadow – Post Haste, Scene, Print, Nocturnelle
EYES
PaintPot – Blackground
Eye Shadow – Crystal Avalanche, Espresso, Carbon, Sketch, Shadowy Lady, Vex
Cream Colour Base – Luna
Pigment – Vanilla
Fluidline – Blacktrack
Eye Kohl – Smolder
Plushlash – Plushblack
LIPS
Prep+Prime Lip
Lip Pencil – Nightmoth, Redd
Lipstick – Cyber, M·A·C Red
Lipglass – Clear
Exotic Zea
Look created by M·A·C Artist: Franklin Betancourt
Location: Shaumburg, IL, USA
Click here for a printable version of this look to bring to a M·A·C Artist in a store near you; links to the products used are also included: http://www.maccosmetics.com/halloween1
Or visit http://bit.ly/maccosmetics to purchase these products online or find a store near you. Pro products can be purchased in any M·A·C Pro store.
STEP-BY-STEP
1. By crushing Gesso eye shadow mixed in with Eye Liner Mixing Medium, you can paint your face white. Another option is to use white Paintstick from the M·A·C PRO line.
2. It is important to have references of zebra stripes handy to study the pattern. I used Blacktrack Fluidline with a #210 brush to create the pattern of zebra on my models face.
3. Doubling up on #37 lashes can create a dow eyed animalistic eye.
4. Prep+Prime Transparent Finishing powder will seal the deal.
FACE
Green Gel Cleanser
Studio Moisture Cream
Prep+Prime Skin
Face & Body
Select Moistureblend
Studio Sculpt Concealer
Eye Shadow – Gesso & Eye Liner
Mixing Medium
Prep+Prime Transparent Finishing powder
EYES
Fluidline – Blacktrack
Eye Kohl – Fascinating
Penultimate Liner
Eye Shadow – Carbon, Vanilla
Plushlash – Plushblack
LIPS
Lip conditioner mix with Powerpoint Eye Pencil – Guilded White
Lipstick – Pretty Please, Black Knight (Style Black Collection)
Fluttereyfly
Look created by M·A·C Artist: Amanda Eichhorn
Location: Moa, MN, USA
Click here for a printable version of this look to bring to a M·A·C Artist in a store near you; links to the products used are also included: http://www.maccosmetics.com/halloween13
Or visit http://bit.ly/maccosmetics to purchase these products online or find a store near you.
STEP-BY-STEP
1. Cover the whole face with Luna Ceam Colour Base with Brush #249.
2. Outline the butterfly design with Fascinating Eye Kohl and sketch detail of wings.
3. Begin with using Brush #242 to shade Juxt Eye Shadow under the eyes, and then follow by blending the following Eye Shadows outward to create an airbrushed effect that moves from green, to blue, to purple: Swimming, Aquadisiac, Moon’s Reflection, and Stars and Rockets.
4. Use Brush #242 to apply Gorgeous Gold Eye Shadow along the inner corner of the eye and blend upward with Expensive Pink, Coppering, and Sushi Flower to finish the upper portion of the butterfly with an airbrushed finesse.
5. Use Brush #209 with Boot Black Liquid Liner to outline the butterfly and detail pattern inside of the wings.
6. Use Brush #252 with Carbon Eye Shadow to shade over the entire face.
7. Use Duo to apply Lash #42 to the upper lashline and finish with two to three coats with Zoomblack Mascara.
8. Define the lip with Velvetella Cremestick Liner. Apply Cyber Lipstick with Brush #311 and Girl About Town Lipstick along the inner lip for a strong highlight. Finish with a glossy coat of Dazzleglass in Date Night.
FACE
Green Gel Cleanser
Studio Moisture fix
Prep+Prime Face
Cream Colour Base – Luna
Eye Kohl – Fascinating
Eye Shadow – Carbon, Juxt, Swimming, Aquadisiac, Sushi Flower, Moons Reflection, Stars N Rockets
EYES
Liquid Eye Liner – Boot black
Eye Shadow – Sushi Flower, Coppering, Expensive Pink, Gorgeous Gold
Zoomlash – Zoomblack
LIPS
Prep+Prime Lip
Cremestick Liner – Velvetella
Lipstick – Cyber, Girl about Town
Dazzleglass – Date Night
She Goes Pop!
Look created by M·A·C Artist: Karin Stone
Location: Chicago, IL, USA
Click here for a printable version of this look to bring to a M·A·C Artist in a store near you; links to the products used are also included: http://www.maccosmetics.com/halloween16
Or visit http://bit.ly/maccosmetics to purchase these products online or find a store near you.
STEP-BY-STEP
1. Start out on your clean face. Lightly buff a thin layer of Luna Cream Colour Base all over your skin with a #187 brush. Set it with Gesso Eye Shadow and a #116 brush – pressing the Eye Shadow in rather than buffing it.
2. Using Blacktrack Fluid Line and a #266 brush – paint in your eyeliner and brows – don’t be afraid to experiment with painting an expression on.
3. Sculpt your cheek bones with a bit of Concrete or Omega Eye Shadow and paint your lips a daring red.
4. Finally, find a chopstick or something in your house with a small round shape that you can use as a stamp. Scrape some Passionate Eye Shadow onto a small kitchen plate. Mix some Fix+ into the scraped shadow – make it not too watery and then dip your stamping tool into it and go to town with your dots.
FACE
Studio Moisture Fix
Cream Colour Base – Luna
Eye Shadow – Gesso
Lipstick – Russian Red
Fix+
EYES
Fluidline – Blacktrack
Eye Shadow – Gesso, Passionate, Omega
Eye Kohl – Fascinating
Zoomlash – Zoomblack
LIPS
Prep + Prime Lip
Lip Pencil – Cherry
Lipstick – Russian Red, Black Knight (Style Black Collection)
Cut & Splice
Look created by M·A·C Artist: Codie Lepors
Location: Little Rock, AZ, USA
Click here for a printable version of this look to bring to a M·A·C Artist in a store near you; links to the products used are also included: http://www.maccosmetics.com/halloween6
Or visit http://bit.ly/maccosmetics to purchase these products online or find a store near you.
STEP-BY-STEP
1. Prime and hydrate skin with Prep + Prime Face and Studio Moisture Fix.
2. Perfect skin with Studio Sculpt Foundation and Concealer and follow with Loose Blot Powder to set.
3. Divide the face into the 4 main sections using Velvetone Eye Brows.
4. Continue to use Velvetone Eye Brow to sketch out the entire face pattern.
5. Use Brush #208 to outline and shade the pattern in designated areas with Blacktrack Fluidline.
6. Continue to use Brush #208 to apply Black Tied Eye Shadow over the Blacktrack Fluidline for a sparkle effect.
7. Shade in white areas with Fascinating Eye Kohl, and set with White Frost Eye Shadow to create a glossy sheen and multi-dimensional effect.
8. Define the lip with Brick Lip Pencil, and shade with M·A·C Red Lipstick. Finish with Venetian Lustreglass in the center of the lip for a shimmering highlight.
FACE
Cremewash
Studio Moisture Fix
Prep+Prime Face
Studio Sculpt Foundation
Studio Finish Concealer
Blot Powder
Eye Shadow – White Frost, Black Tied
Eye Kohl – Fascinating
EYES
Eye Brow Pencil – Velvetone
Eye Shadow – White Frost, Black Tied
Fluidline – Blacktrack
Zoomlash – Zoomblack
LIPS
Prep+Prime Lip
Lip Pencil – Brick
Lipstick – M·A·C Red
Lustreglass – Venetian
Real Flamer
Look created by M·A·C Artist: Tiam Safari
Location: Dunedin, New Zealand
Click here for a printable version of this look to bring to a M·A·C Artist in a store near you; links to the products used are also included: http://www.maccosmetics.com/halloween14
Or visit http://bit.ly/maccosmetics to purchase these products online or find a store near you.
STEP-BY-STEP
1. Cleanse skin and use Brush #191 to apply Strobe Cream to hydrate skin.
2. Use Fascinating Eye Kohl to first stencil the Phoenix design, and then use Brush #242 to apply and shade Bare Study Paint. Use Brush #213 to highlight the bridge of nose with Crystal Avalanche Eye Shadow.
3. Blend Crystal Avalanche into Steamy Eye Shadow, then Carbon Eye Shadow with Brush #213 and Brush #217.
4. Use Brush #213 to apply Chrome Yellow Eye Shadow over the eyelid, and follow by shading Coppering Eye Shadow in the inner crease.
5. Define the upper and lower lashline with Rapidblack Penultimate Liner, extending the upper eye line towards the ear and lower line inwards to the bridge of the nose.
6. Starting at the tip of the nose, apply Goldmine Eye Shadow with Brush #213, then gradually fade to Cranberry, Coppering, Goldmine, Juxt, Humid, Electric Eel, and Satelitte Dreams Eye Shadows. Blend transition lines with #217 brush. Repeat same rainbow, blending pattern over cheeks.
7. Fill in Phoenix tail flames with Goldmine and Coppering Eye Shadows with Brush 228.
8. Outline Phoenix wings and body with Rapidblack Penultimate Liner. Follow with Aqualine Liquidlast Liner around edges of the Phoenix, and then shade with Steamy Eye Shadow.
9. Draw feather outlines over graduated rainbow sections with Rapidblack Penultimate Liner. Draw Phoenix eyes with Aqualine and Blue Herizon Liquidlast Liners.
10. Define and shade lip with Redd Lip Pencil. Apply Meltdown Lipstick with Brush #318, and finish with a centre lip highlight with Instant Gold Lustreglass.
FACE
PRO Eye Makeup remover
Strobe cream
Fast Response Eye Cream
Studio Sculpt Foundation
Studio Sculpt Concealer
Eye Shadow – Electric Eel, Juxt, Coppering, Goldmine, Humid Cranberry, Satellite Dreams
Eye Kohl – Fascinating
Liquidlast liner – Blue Herizon, Aqualine
EYES
Eye Shadow – Electric Eel, Carbon, Satellite Dreams, Goldmine, Humid, Cranberry, Coppering, Steamy, Juxt, Crystal Avalanche, Chrome Yellow
Paint – Bare Study
Penultimate Liner – Rapid Black
Liquidlast liner – Blue Herizon, Aqualine
LIPS
Lip Conditioner
Lip Pencil – Redd
Lipstick – Meltdown
Lustreglass – Instant Gold
Images thanks to MAC Cosmetic’s photos on Facebook
Was listening to Neko Case’s Middle Cyclone on my way into work this morning and felt inspired to share her delicate sketches and creative tenacity with you. Aside from her smooth vocals and deeply soulful voice, Neko draws most of her own CD covers, tour posters, t-shirts, and 99% of what’s on her website. Her art was set into moving illustrations played on a huge screen when I saw her in concert last year. “People Got A Lotta Nerve” is one of my all-time favorite Neko songs, but when I saw her performing it live with a video of her drawings coming to life behind her on stage…let’s just say it was epic. I hope you appreciate her as much as I do.
Neko portrait
Still shot of “People Got A Lotta Nerve” video
You know they call them killer whales
But you seem surprised
When it pinned you down to the bottom of the tank
Where you can’t turn around
It took half your leg and both your lungs
And I craved I ate hearts of sharks, I know you know itI’m a man man man man, man man man eater
But still you’re surprised prised prised when I eat ya
a while ago I promised to start posting a few of my favorite things to keep you in the know on some of my precious beauty items. some old, some new, all fabulous. here’s the latest of my favorites so treat yourself to a few inexpensive grabs that are sure to make you feel like a million bucks.
Lash Blast Length by CoverGirl $7.50 at drugstores (dramatic length is even better when paired with a volumizing mascara like the one below)
L’Oreal Telescopic Explosion, $8 at drugstores (taking a cue from Givenchy’s Phenomen ‘Eyes Mascara, this affordable version does the trick reaching little lashes for the ultimate wide eyed look)
Max Factor Erace Cover Up, $5 at drugstores (covers up any blemish, dark circle or sun spot in a minute)
MAC LipGlass (Viva Glam V is a fav), $14 at maccosmetics.com (Ladies, I know that seems like a lot for a lip gloss, but this stuff lasts for ages! No refills for the next four months at least)
Olay Spa Exfoliating Ribbons, $5 at drugstores (with the change of season, your skin needs to shed a few lbs)
Revlon Colorstay Liquid Eye Pen, $7 at drugstores (creates a precise line with a marker like tip for dramatic or soft eyes)
Images thanks to elle.com, instyle.com, revlon.com
*Disclaimer* My apologies for the swearing and cussing to come in the below post. My brain is just a lil’ sore from not understanding certain ways of thinking. Imagine how that violation might feel before you excuse it, ya know?
I wasn’t going to say anything about this Roman Polanski “youthful error” (my ass!) nonsense because I’ve already exhausted my vocal cords in anger. my knuckles may never return to normal color again after gripping my desk so God damn hard. this pathetic petition of entertainment’s greats are supporting a child rapist to either protect their own, watch their careers for future projects, and/or excuse his mess because he’s a “genius” behind the lense is absurd beyond belief. those are the excuses I’ve come up with and they’re just not good enough. I’ve admired these people – who I thought were somewhat intelligent people – and their work from afar since I understood what being an artist really meant. but then I saw this name:
Diane Von Furstenberg.
WTF, DVF?!?! SERIOUSLY? one of my all-time female icons who I’ve admired since college has become an utter disappointment. Guess all that charity work smacks of lies, deception, keeping up with appearances, and such, huh? I’m stunned by seeing her name. totally fucking stunned.
Natalie Portman.
Hello, hypocrite. did you not just film a rape scene for The Other Boleyn Girl marking it as one of the hardest moments in your career? WOW.
and it gets worse. pop your Pepto now.
Martin Scorsese, Woody Allen, Harrison Ford, Steven Soderbergh, Salman Rushie, Mike Nichols, Sam Mendes, Penelope Fucking Cruz and TILDA FUCKING SWINTON ?!!!?!?
countless movies defining my personal pop culture experience and child-adulthood nostalgia (which means a lot to me) will officially never be thought of in the same way again.
maybe I’m wrong in believing that justice needs to be served to the now adult woman who was raped at 13-years-old after being fed into a champagne and drug induced stupor so Polanski could have his disgusting way with her. I thought that as a society we decided rape was a bad thing? what is this “age of consent” bullshit I keep hearing about? there is no age requirement for not allowing someone’s nonconsensual entrance in to your body!
FemBot has a quote from Robert Goolrick of The Beast, who was raped by his father, that is oddly reassuring.
…it is the absolute, final, and total end of childhood, of any sense of innocence and wonder. Perhaps the girl in California had already lost hers. Perhaps her mother manipulated the situation. I, frankly, don’t give a good goddamn… . So, the Artist as rapist. Do we trade a child’s life for Knife In The Water? And, if so, do we trade a child’s life for Caddyshack? I say no.
and just when we thought we had accomplished so much we realize we’ve accomplished so little.
Image thanks to sodahead.com
I bought my copy of the Wizard of Oz DVD celebrating it’s 70th anniversary. talk about the perfect pick-me-up to serve as a beautifully creative and oddly poetic sign of hope. I suggest you take two hours out of your day to reminisce along the yellow brick road. (and for my fellow beauty fanatics, take a look at the killer makeup on Dorothy – poppy lips never go out of style!)
OK. so today I found a new favorite blog, save the assistants. not only does their “Bossary” make me howl and snort with laughter (I’ve definitely had the Frenemy, Overstresser, PTP, Drama Queen and Micromanaging Jackass – phew!) but this post in particular prompted a quick response from yours truly.
tip of the week: be famous already
you ever sent out millions of resumes without getting a single interview? It can be so frustrating. And while you sit there wondering what you could have said differently or how you could have presented yourself in a better way, it turns out that there’s one great, quick way to get a job without even applying: just be famous already.Kim Kardashian, best known for parlaying a sex tape into a reality TV career, has been ‘hired’ as the Contributing Beauty Editor for OK! magazine. It turns out that your own reality show and a slew of famewhoring relatives makes you a much better candidate for the job than any editorial experience, beauty know-how, or writing ability. That said, she does wear makeup, so she must know about it. Oh, and she has an endorsement deal for her own perfume! I hope she’ll stick to her high journalistic standards and not plug her product in her articles.
Also, OK’s cover story this week is their exclusive coverage of Kim’s sister’s wedding. Coincidence? Or synergy? You decide.
what’s really sick about this is the fact that the blog is totally spot on. OK! Editors aren’t the sharpest pens in the literary bunch so it’s very safe to assume that just because Kimmy K knows how to apply mascara (depicted so perfectly in the above picture) must mean she knows all about it. because she knows how to read must mean that she knows how to be an actual, real life, writing able, detail-oriented, deadline-driven editor. riiiiiiight. I’d die to see her take the editorial test normally required of any magazine publishing job. maybe OK! cover girl/lil’ sister Khloe can help her out with that one.
Image thanks to OK! magazine.com
Hello friends! I’m back in the Internet flesh. How I’ve missed your faces.
I just read a hilariously true article on Jezebel (natch) entitled “Why I Hate ‘Recessionista’ Lifestyle Pieces” that I need to share. We’re all in a financial rut whether we were handed a pink slip or have had to scale back our weekly expenses or are apologizing profusely to our landlord for another late rent payment; decidedly we’re in this thing together. Comforting pieces from various blogs arise and glossies come out with cheap ways to stay chic or affordable ways to dine out. My mom has made it a hobby to go over my budget. :le sigh: Sure, it’s a nice try and some of them are even convincing and helpful, but then there are those of the totally obscene nature.
Take Elle and writer Laura Hollinger for instance. I normally love my Elle so I’m pretty bummed by their choice here.
Frugalista…Recession Diva…”Broke is the new black”…it’s all same ridiculous termonology created by those hardly effected by the recession to try and fluff over the damage done to our wallets – and our minds. People, hear me: I’m not a trend. I’m $#)(^ing BROKE. Trying to make an empty wallet seem cute is like making dogs dress like humans. It’s tacky. It’s pointless. And it’s dumber than a pile of gold plated spend-me bricks.
Since I’ve been job hunting for the better part of a year thanks to losing my gig back in October, I’ve freelanced, temped and done what I had to survive. Living with parents and couch hopping is not chic. Writing a check that you know damn well will bounce is not flattering. Feeling the vom rise in your throat while you watch the dollars tick away while tanking up is not healthy. And all of this is made worse by some wealthy woman whining over having to cut her trip to Vail in half. This is a lifestyle driven by necessity; it’s not a trend.
But what I love most about Peterson’s piece in response to Laura Hollinger’s recessionista dribble in Elle (entitled “My Year of Living Frugally”) is that she’s truly one of us. There’s no faux pretense or apology; she’s up front about her squabbles and sad trips to Safeway. She’s real and we love her for it.
Now, this is not a simple case of sour grapes on my part. After all, if Hollinger has the money to play, it’s her life. But I am really confused at why so many women fueling these trend pieces are creaming themselves over pretend frugality?
Especially when they don’t have to?
Being financially savvy as a woman is an important and powerful thing. Understanding money, making it work to your advantage, and not being afraid of its possibilities are common themes that most people struggle with through the course of their lives.
But, if you are one of the lucky ones who managed to get through this recession with only minor tweaks to your lifestyle, then why are you doing a part-time game of make believe about coming hard times?
What really makes me believe in Peterson is the fact that I can laugh out loud – a healthy, hearty laugh – about her groveling to her landlord and her “broke ass trip to Safeway” because I’m right there with her. I’ve spent the last $50 on an interview dress so that I didn’t roll up to the 53rd floor of McGraw-Hill looking like one of the Lost Boys. So much for lunch that week.
“I crossed my fingers and promised T-mobile another $100 on Friday, knowing damn well my next payment wouldn’t drop for a couple of weeks…“
I totally get why everyone under the publishing sun is writing sordid tales of recessionista non-fiction. Shit is rough out there. While Hollinger wrote about investing $800 in “lifetime” pieces for her wardrobe, I hemmed and hawed over buying $5 Tres Emme shampoo last week at Walmart. No matter who is saying what and how they’re saying it, you have to laugh. Let it out. Catch and release. And pray to the recession Gods above that we climb out of this hell hole soon because Lordisa knows we’re all tired of lying to T-Mobile. Broke is far from being sexy, but finding humor in our financial woes sure as hell helps us through, doesn’t it?
Sugar Kane Tells All 
