“Sure, lots of guy celebrities are handsome, but some of these hotties distinguish themselves with such a spectacular singular physical feature that it makes it impossible to keep us focused on silly things like, say, plot. Read on for the 15 most droolworthy biceps, buns, abs and more.”
That’s according to Glamour.com. According to me and my gaggle of cronies, divas, misfits, and other people I call friends, this list is totally incomplete. Talk about sad shortcomings and bedroom downfalls. They can have ’em as far as I’m concerned. I have my own delicious list of sultry, titillating men that beg to be eaten off a spoon.
1. Seth Rogen’s sweet hair
Billowy, fluffy, and curly. Can you just imagine how smooth it feels between your fingers? Seth may have lost the weight, but he’s certainly weighed on my mind.
2. Brad Pitt’s bro buzz
We all agree that Brad can do no wrong. Well, with one exception. But overall, the buzz has been one of my favorite incarnations of Brad to date. Why? Because I’m a sucker for the miniature golf course putting green texture. Dare to defy me on this.
3. Steve Carrell’s strong nose
It’s prominence is a force to be reckoned with. What’s sexiest about Steve is that he doesn’t think he’s sexy at all. Oh, but I beg to differ.
4. Rainn Wilson’s puckering mouth
Carrell’s The Office counterpart has his looks going for him, too. Just don’t tell him that. While unconventionally cute, Rainn’s mouth is what attracts me to him the most. That little pucker of sarcasm sitting atop his upper lip anxiously waiting to pour out is palpable. Can’t you see it?
5. Gerard Butler’s heavenly harsh scruff
Facial hair is a make or break situation for any woman. But for Gerard lovers, it’s totally doable. Panties drop simultaneously for a go at his face. I’d happily go to work with dry skin and beard rash any day. Just a FYI, Gerard. :whispers: If you can hear me.
6. Bruce Willis’ bald exterior
How any woman can ever find a bald head unattractive is beyond me. Bruce must apply shoe shine nightly because his baldness beams to the edge of the moon. Just like our my love.
7. James Franco’s flawless cheek bones
James Dean reincarnated. This is bone structure most models die for. Is he grinding his teeth? Or are they always like that? Who cares! I can’t help but wonder how his structure moves when he chews. Is that weird?
8. John Krasinski’s love-me eyes
Puppy dog eyes to the extreme. Waking up to these beauties every morning must be bliss. Emily Blunt is one lucky bitch.
9. Daniel Craig’s dynamite abs
My eyes must be deceiving me. It’s like a mirage; the male version of Daryl Hannah slowly emerging from the water to have his way with me on the beach. Never before did I know Speedos could fit this well on a man. Meow.
10. Michael Ian Black’s scrutinizing eyebrows
On what level is Michael Ian Black really judging me? That’s what I want to know. And the anticipation is hot. Just sayin’.
11. Conan O’Brien’s ivory forehead
A landscape of pure, open ivory space. Full of God knows what. Do I hear a plane landing or is it just me? I hope there’s room enough for both of us.
12. Lance Armstrong’s do-me legs
All that cycling, milk, and Sheryl Crow really does a body good. Phew! Who wouldn’t want those wrapped around your very being? Day and night, night and day. Feel the burn, ladies. Feel the burn.
13. Denzel Washington’s glittering smile
Lights are blinding. They say a smile is worth a thousand words, but in Denzel’s case I think it’s safe to say his aren’t allowed a price tag. Can I be a part of your chocolate high?
14. Adam Sandler’s endearing egghead
He may hear endless scrutiny and bad jokes for a head he can’t control, but in my humble opinion I think it’s impossibly sweet.
15. George Clooney’s pearly whites
There’s nothing like saving the best for last. George’s devilish sense of humor seeps through his gorgeous smile and infectious laugh. Teeth have never before been made with such perfection. MmmmMmmmMmmm.
This list wouldn’t be complete without this honorary addition. This man can wear a suit, command a room, and give Tina Fey a run for her money on her very own show. Skill, style, sensuality, and sex is why special number 16 sizzles. The ultimate man’s man. Every woman loves her Hamm.
16. Jon Hamm, the every man.
Images thanks to people.com, eonline.com torontolife.com, seth-rogen.com, scrantonbranchoffice.wordpress.com, kepplerspeakers.com, & rottentomatoes.com