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*Disclaimer* My apologies for the swearing and cussing to come in the below post. My brain is just a lil’ sore from not understanding certain ways of thinking. Imagine how that violation might feel before you excuse it, ya know?

I wasn’t going to say anything about this Roman Polanski “youthful error” (my ass!) nonsense because I’ve already exhausted my vocal cords in anger. my knuckles may never return to normal color again after gripping my desk so God damn hard. this pathetic petition of entertainment’s greats are supporting a child rapist to either protect their own, watch their careers for future projects, and/or excuse his mess because he’s a “genius” behind the lense is absurd beyond belief. those are the excuses I’ve come up with and they’re just not good enough. I’ve admired these people – who I thought were somewhat intelligent people – and their work from afar since I understood what being an artist really meant. but then I saw this name:

Diane Von Furstenberg.

WTF, DVF?!?! SERIOUSLY? one of my all-time female icons who I’ve admired since college has become an utter disappointment. Guess all that charity work smacks of lies, deception, keeping up with appearances, and such, huh? I’m stunned by seeing her name. totally fucking stunned.

Natalie Portman.

Hello, hypocrite. did you not just film a rape scene for The Other Boleyn Girl marking it as one of the hardest moments in your career? WOW.

and it gets worse. pop your Pepto now.

Martin Scorsese, Woody Allen, Harrison Ford, Steven Soderbergh, Salman Rushie, Mike Nichols, Sam Mendes, Penelope Fucking Cruz and TILDA FUCKING SWINTON ?!!!?!?

countless movies defining my personal pop culture experience and child-adulthood nostalgia (which means a lot to me) will officially never be thought of in the same way again.

maybe I’m wrong in believing that justice needs to be served to the now adult woman who was raped at 13-years-old after being fed into a champagne and drug induced stupor so Polanski could have his disgusting way with her. I thought that as a society we decided rape was a bad thing? what is this “age of consent” bullshit I keep hearing about? there is no age requirement for not allowing someone’s nonconsensual entrance in to your body!

FemBot has a quote from Robert Goolrick of The Beast, who was raped by his father, that is oddly reassuring.

…it is the absolute, final, and total end of childhood, of any sense of innocence and wonder. Perhaps the girl in California had already lost hers. Perhaps her mother manipulated the situation. I, frankly, don’t give a good goddamn… . So, the Artist as rapist. Do we trade a child’s life for Knife In The Water? And, if so, do we trade a child’s life for Caddyshack? I say no.

and just when we thought we had accomplished so much we realize we’ve accomplished so little.

Image thanks to sodahead.com

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I bought my copy of the Wizard of Oz DVD celebrating it’s 70th anniversary. talk about the perfect pick-me-up to serve as a beautifully creative and oddly poetic sign of hope. I suggest you take two hours out of your day to reminisce along the yellow brick road. (and for my fellow beauty fanatics, take a look at the killer makeup on Dorothy – poppy lips never go out of style!)

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OK. so today I found a new favorite blog, save the assistants. not only does their “Bossary” make me howl and snort with laughter (I’ve definitely had the Frenemy, Overstresser, PTP, Drama Queen and Micromanaging Jackass – phew!) but this post in particular prompted a quick response from yours truly.

tip of the week: be famous already

you ever sent out millions of resumes without getting a single interview? It can be so frustrating. And while you sit there wondering what you could have said differently or how you could have presented yourself in a better way, it turns out that there’s one great, quick way to get a job without even applying: just be famous already.Kim Kardashian, best known for parlaying a sex tape into a reality TV career, has been ‘hired’ as the Contributing Beauty Editor for OK! magazineIt turns out that your own reality show and a slew of famewhoring relatives makes you a much better candidate for the job than any editorial experience, beauty know-how, or writing ability. That said, she does wear makeup, so she must know about it. Oh, and she has an endorsement deal for her own perfume! I hope she’ll stick to her high journalistic standards and not plug her product in her articles.

Also, OK’s cover story this week is their exclusive coverage of Kim’s sister’s wedding. Coincidence? Or synergy? You decide.

what’s really sick about this is the fact that the blog is totally spot on. OK! Editors aren’t the sharpest pens in the literary bunch so it’s very safe to assume that just because Kimmy K knows how to apply mascara (depicted so perfectly in the above picture) must mean she knows all about it. because she knows how to read must mean that she knows how to be an actual, real life, writing able, detail-oriented, deadline-driven editor. riiiiiiight. I’d die to see her take the editorial test normally required of any magazine publishing job. maybe OK! cover girl/lil’ sister Khloe can help her out with that one.

Image thanks to OK! magazine.com

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Hello friends! I’m back in the Internet flesh. How I’ve missed your faces.

I just read a hilariously true article on Jezebel (natch) entitled “Why I Hate ‘Recessionista’ Lifestyle Pieces” that I need to share. We’re all in a financial rut whether we were handed a pink slip or have had to scale back our weekly expenses or are apologizing profusely to our landlord for another late rent payment; decidedly we’re in this thing together. Comforting pieces from various blogs arise and glossies come out with cheap ways to stay chic or affordable ways to dine out. My mom has made it a hobby to go over my budget. :le sigh: Sure, it’s a nice try and some of them are even convincing and helpful, but then there are those of the totally obscene nature.

Take Elle and writer Laura Hollinger for instance. I normally love my Elle so I’m pretty bummed by their choice here.

Frugalista…Recession Diva…”Broke is the new black”…it’s all same ridiculous termonology created by those hardly effected by the recession to try and fluff over the damage done to our wallets – and our minds. People, hear me: I’m not a trend. I’m $#)(^ing BROKE. Trying to make an empty wallet seem cute is like making dogs dress like humans. It’s tacky. It’s pointless. And it’s dumber than a pile of gold plated spend-me bricks.

Since I’ve been job hunting for the better part of a year thanks to losing my gig back in October, I’ve freelanced, temped and done what I had to survive. Living with parents and couch hopping is not chic. Writing a check that you know damn well will bounce is not flattering. Feeling the vom rise in your throat while you watch the dollars tick away while tanking up is not healthy. And all of this is made worse by some wealthy woman whining over having to cut her trip to Vail in half. This is a lifestyle driven by necessity; it’s not a trend.

But what I love most about Peterson’s piece in response to Laura Hollinger’s recessionista dribble in Elle (entitled “My Year of Living Frugally”) is that she’s truly one of us. There’s no faux pretense or apology; she’s up front about her squabbles and sad trips to Safeway. She’s real and we love her for it.

Now, this is not a simple case of sour grapes on my part. After all, if Hollinger has the money to play, it’s her life. But I am really confused at why so many women fueling these trend pieces are creaming themselves over pretend frugality?

Especially when they don’t have to?

Being financially savvy as a woman is an important and powerful thing. Understanding money, making it work to your advantage, and not being afraid of its possibilities are common themes that most people struggle with through the course of their lives.

But, if you are one of the lucky ones who managed to get through this recession with only minor tweaks to your lifestyle, then why are you doing a part-time game of make believe about coming hard times?

What really makes me believe in Peterson is the fact that I can laugh out loud – a healthy, hearty laugh – about her groveling to her landlord and her “broke ass trip to Safeway” because I’m right there with her. I’ve spent the last $50 on an interview dress so that I didn’t roll up to the 53rd floor of McGraw-Hill looking like one of the Lost Boys. So much for lunch that week.

“I crossed my fingers and promised T-mobile another $100 on Friday, knowing damn well my next payment wouldn’t drop for a couple of weeks…

I totally get why everyone under the publishing sun is writing sordid tales of recessionista non-fiction. Shit is rough out there. While Hollinger wrote about investing $800 in “lifetime” pieces for her wardrobe, I hemmed and hawed over buying $5 Tres Emme shampoo last week at Walmart. No matter who is saying what and how they’re saying it, you have to laugh. Let it out. Catch and release. And pray to the recession Gods above that we climb out of this hell hole soon because Lordisa knows we’re all tired of lying to T-Mobile. Broke is far from being sexy, but finding humor in our financial woes sure as hell helps us through, doesn’t it?

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The Princess and the Frogs

Vicki Lee Ragan, American, born 1951

Medium: Dye diffusion transfer photograph (Polaroid)

when he bids me

separate

go home

stop following behind

let there be

time without memory

all is loss

my soul gone

into numb nothingness

my body unable

to know or move

from this strange

forbidden garden

he lures me here

where love

will not come again

– bell hooks, When Angels Speak of Love: Poems

Image thanks to the Brooklyn Museum

in the words of Rachel Zoe, I diiiiie for Zac Posen’s spring 2010 collection. granted, I’m all hung up on fall’s smoky navy smudged eyes, thigh high boots, au natural nails, and plushy mauve lips, but I cannot help but squee over Posen’s eye popping collection full of brilliant hues and a sea of rainbow chignons.

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Thanks to WWD.com for gorgeous backstage images

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last week I was in desperate need of an eyebrow wax. and when I italicize desperate I mean it was a full on Frida situation. I openly (and embarrassingly) admit that I haven’t been waxed in months, merely relying on my tweezers to keep my caterpillars acceptable until I decided to give in and get waxed. I have really sensitive skin, leaving me prone to crazy wax burns that turn out looking like an extra set of eyebrows right under the originals.

thanks to Stript Wax Bar in Ithaca, NY –  headed by ex-Rasa Spa beauty maven Rachael – I left feeling like a whole new woman. my face automatically opened up. my brows looked immaculate. and I left with ZERO burns! a first! (hint: take an Advil of Ibuprofen before going to help minimize discomfort and thin blood for minimal pain and burn)

Stript Wax Bar – also located in San Francisco and Palo Alto, CA – uses hard wax that is meant to cover a larger area in a shorter period of time. less dip and strip and repeat two, three, four, ten times. who wouldn’t love that?! plus, with a glass of champagne or water with lime you’re immediately comfortable in this luxe environment donned with white orchids, pale gray trim and a plushy violet loveseat. if you’re going to get Stript, this is the place to do it.

PS – don’t forget to read their “wax rules” before you go!

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my apologies for the delay! sending the summer out with a bang is very time consuming thanks to the holiday. expect more delays as the next few weekends are jam packed with road trips, football games, and other such fall fanfare. but I’m here for you and have some incredibly awesome dish to share so stay with me. I have some cool stuff up my sleeve!

for starters, this will either royally creep you out leaving you wondering how these women operate on a daily basis (especially if they wear contacts – ouch) OR (if you’re me) this is the coolest form of nail art since Florence Griffith-Joyner’s fierce debut.

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from hard candy to Hello Kitty bows to zebra print nails only Jem could love, here are a few of my favorites. you’ll be amazed…or feel really bashful about your boring-by-comparison fresh mani.

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and these are my all-time favorite because…

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they are not unlike this famous painting by Hokusai:

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for the full nail parade visit BellaSugar.

Photos thanks to BellaSugar.com

Coco Chanel, meet Tim Burton.

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We know the last thing a woman wants in her life is split-ends, flat tresses, or humongous roots. The horror! Rest assured, lady. We hear you and want to let you in on the latest salon that will quench your glam grooming thirst.

Hair has a point to make – exclamation point – at Pepper Pastor Salon, located at 223 Front Street at Beekman Street in Seaport. Mingling two attitudes into one, Stylist Pepper Pastor (former ballet dancer and Paul Labrecque alum) and business partner Joel Sonkin (former finance exec) fuse modern chic with old school Victorian-esque beauty (think: Alice in Wonderland with tattoos).

Ladies leave looking delicious in blown-out Gossip Girl dos, old Hollywood waves, chic bobs, and shine on highlights. Dine on caramels, watermelon-flavored marshmallows and tea service while getting an event up-do, color restoration, hydrating service, professional makeup application or any other service your little heart desires. Foil, paint, gloss, highlight, repeat. Stylist Pepper does it all. Get in line.

Note: The above image is from Zac Posen’s fall 2009 show. Makeup artist Lucia Pieroni told Elle.com that she had visions of a classic Burton character, Helena Bonham Carter’s corpse bride, and Winona Ryder’s Beetlejuice, spinning in her head when creating the look for Posen’s show. Long, voluminous lashes and hollowed out dark eyes with barely there blush. Tough, moody, a touch of gothic and even more glam. Read more about her inspiration here.

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Image thanks to billyveasey.com and elle.com

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I have a new favorite thing. thanks to the beauty department at Glamour, I’ve been told of a new way to tame the summertime frizz. I know I’m not the only one with wild tresses so you’ll appreciate this.

yesterday my hair was an absolute mess. I donned the beachy wavy style thanks to Bumble and Bumble’s Surf Spray and while the style looked relaxed and straight from the ocean, the frizz popping out on all sides of my head was not so cute. I ended up using a 1.5 inch curling iron to tame the frizz in the hopes of not losing the waves and volume. it helped momentarily, but made me even hotter than I already was so the frizzies found me again later in the evening. plus, my hair eventually fell flat. but now I’ve found a solution: Oscar Blandi’s Spray-On Dry Shampoo. the dry shampoo absorbs excess oils and lifts your hair for additional volume. Glamour says the secret is to apply a few spritzes about 2-3 inches apart along your hairline then tossle your hair in a towel as if you were towel-drying your hair. voila! hello, sexy beachy bed head. I say, if it works for Elle Macpherson then it’s worth a shot!

personally, I recommend the dry shampoo spray to-go bottle. you can throw it in your bag for the mid-afternoon frizz attack and save some dough.

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