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“New Homely Doll To Improve Self-Image Of Young Girls” [The Onion]

i can’t say that i wouldn’t be surprised if this actually came to fruition considering Mattel’s sordid history with female self-esteem and what’s culturally accepted as “the norm” in regards to women’s body image. :the song “Who Wears Short Shorts” immediately popped in my head:  BUT. as brilliant as i think the Onion is – and i admit i cracked up when i initially read this piece – the satirical description of the fictional “anti-Barbie” doll as being “5-foot-4, 179-pound woman in her mid-30s, is being touted as the first toy expressly intended to raise the sense of physical and emotional self-worth in preteen females…She’s drab, she’s dumpy, she’s nothing to write home about, and she’s going to make the girls of America feel like beauty queens” would in fact do just the opposite. joking about what is viewed as an acceptable standard, whether it being a stick thin blonde or an overweight brunette, is never healthy at any age in any woman’s life. why does it have to be one or the other? why can’t you be Emme with a dash of Tina Fey? forgive me for sounding so very after-school special, but regardless of your weight, color, height, and preference, being you is the most important part of being a woman. of being a human. i’m all for satirizing the status quo and society standards, but let’s not take it so far as to make those who are 5’2″ and in their mid-30s feel as if they’ve done something wrong because they don’t drop $200 on faux blonde highlights since their man prefers blondes. it’s bad enough we’re reminded everyday of what a woman should be; let’s not add more fuel to the fire. you do you, ladies!

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